Transcript:Moody monsters

Issue 5 - Moody Monsters
'''Five Ages after creating the world of Runescape, the great god Saradomin has finally resumed communication with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet. An agreement with his brothers prohibits him from directly intervening into Runescape's affairs, but in his great omniscience he still listens to the prayers of those who seek his knowledge.'''

Make dwarves less aggressive? Whatever next? That's like asking humans to stop complaining all the time. Anyway, dwarves just wouldn't be dwarves if they weren't huffing and snorting and shoving axes in your face. However, Andrew has just admitted to accidentally tampering with their water supply, which may have made them particularly frisky of late. The plumbers have now been called.

Yes, everyone is tired of the cheaters that you speak of. As such we are changing Mining and Fishing shortly so that they no longer consist of hours of tedious repetative} clicking. They will be made more fun, and harder to cheat. The rocks will be much easier to mine, but you will need to rest or eat food occasionally while mining.

The upshot of this is that honest miners should be able to mine ore slightly quicker, while the cheats will just have to go somewhere else.

Yes, there has been a lot of interest in the fancy dress shop and its red party hat. If the shopkeeper was actually able to get some in stock, I'm sure there would be even more. It seems that he has been advertising these hats as some kind of cheap marketing ploy, to get adventurers salivating in anticipation. It obviously worked...

No, you're not imagining it - they really do exist. You can find them in south Varrock as part of the Biohazard Quest.

As a god of peace, I am a firm believer in the value of constructive dialogue. So please allow me to defer to a more contrary voice on the matter.

Hmm, seems like we've got a bit of an impasse here. Looks like you're just going to have to learn how to get along. A Prayer to prevent others from interfering with your combat is however planned at some point in the distant future.

Your cry is a worthy one indeed, and lo I am happy to say that worlds 11 and 12 have now opened up. 11 will operate as a members' server, and 12 will be for non-members.

Well, there are lots of theories about black holes, with some professors claiming that they represent the origins of evolution itself. But when you're a god you don't like to harp on about the whole evolution thing too much. In scientific terms, black holes represented the world's first sin bin, banishing miscreants for all eternity. Or at least for some of it. The only problem was, the black hole developed such a reputation that warriors were going out of their way to be plunged into its eternal void. Those who had sworn blind to be upright individuals now just swore blindly. Anything to get thrown into the black hole. Only later was it discovered that this was the work of Zamorak, cleverly designed in order to glamorise evil deeds. From then on the council just banned people instead, and with no more matter to envelop, the black hole turned in on itself and imploded.

Yes, this does seem like a good idea. I understand that the powers that be will be implementing some kind of bank note system in the not too distant future. Your fiscal problems will soon be over!

Perhaps I spoke too soon before. Even the greatest system of money is only as wise as the people who use it. But as far as fairness is concerned, I can tell you that $10 Australian is about the same as $5 American.

Yes, that is a tricky one. All I know is, I wouldn't be too happy about buying a second-hand camel from you.

Until next time, my faithful friends.