Transcript:Saradomin Illuminates

Issue 21 - Saradomin Illuminates
Saradomin returns once more to bring the light of his wisdom in the darkness of confusion.

Topics of interest in this edition of the letters include the joys of fishing in the wilderness, the unfairness of drops from monsters, the measure of firepower of dwarf multicannons and the lies of Guthix...

Greetings loyal subjects, once again! It has not been long since last I spoke to you, yet I see my wisdom is sorely needed still. It is for this reason that I have taken time out from my usual hectic schedule to answer the pleas and queries of my followers once more! What questions left unanswered have been consuming the hearts and minds of loyal saradominists across my lands this time? Well let us see for ourselves...

Ah, when I think back to the days when the mighty Wizards Tower stood gloriously on the ocean as the hard working mages crafted their runes to defend their settlements and villages in my name... I'm sorry, I seem to have wandered off slightly there.

To answer your question, many years ago a man who is known as the first wizard found a place made of a strange kind of rock that absorbed the mighty powers of nature.

Together with like minded individuals they began to mine this rock, and built mighty temples in honour of the forces they absorbed and began to fashion hundreds and thousands of rune stones in various temples so that they could let anyone with sufficient practice use these forces as magical spells.

There is a first hand account of this time available in the Library of Varrock, or due to a recent discovery brave adventurers may witness the method of creating rune stones for themselves firsthand!

Give it a try, and remember me as you do so!

I would prefer my followers to resist the evil lure of the wilderness entirely, but I accept that sometimes there is no recourse but to take action against that offensive place and enter it.

This is why I ensured that there would be fresh fish, even in the heart of the darkness that is the wilderness at the bandit camp. Have an anchovy pizza in my name next time you are smiting the Zamorakians!

Those who take themselves too seriously, and contain too much pride, as the saying goes, often approach a fall. Such as using a capital letter after a comma...

I am a god, so I do not make mistakes, but those who write to me are not (quite clearly in some cases) so my boundless love for the world lets me forgive them for their errors, and I am shocked that you would suspect me of making my followers appear unlearned by deliberately adding mistakes to their missives!

That might be something the treacherous Zamorak might do, but not me!

Lady luck is indeed a fickle mistress, as all adventurers can attest, but does it not make the reward so much sweeter when you have worked and searched for it for so long?

I think you will find that the more troublesome the search, the more fulfilling the bounty...

I believe they are usually located in the two holes made to hold them on a newts face...

Ask them for help;
 * A follower of mine will offer assistance instantly, for they are pure of heart and know the glory of performing good deeds in my name.
 * A cursed Zamorakian will likely call you a newcomer and laugh in your face, for they hold all life in contempt.
 * A Guthixian will likely be consumed by an inner turmoil as they struggle to decide whether helping you will be changing the balance of things too much...

The firing tests conducted by the dwarves before allowing the cannon to become a viable munition did indeed involve testing with various other metals, but it was found that the impurities present in iron and bronze meant often they would not cleanly leave the cannon chambers, and would end up exploding in the face of the unfortunate dwarf who was conducting the testing.

May he rest in peace.

As ingenious as the Dwarven mechanics are, when they designed their cannons they put perhaps too large an emphasis upon raw power and not enough upon finesse. As a result, every cannonball fired usually ends up vaporised from the force of the blast. As too, usually, does the target...

I close my letters to my loyal followers with the motto 'Strength through wisdom' for it is the creed by which I exist.

A wise man with nothing may defeat a thousand fully armoured foes before they have even realised they are under attack, for wisdom is one of the greatest gifts I can bestow upon my followers.

I wish I could assist you in your query of that accursed place, but unfortunately the stench of corruption and evil that fills it defiles mine senses and prevents me from approaching.

I do know that the lands to the West have been blocked from access by this abominable pass, but that workmen are working hard to re-establish the passage through the mountains that has been blocked from access for so long...

As for your other question, where most gods take on certain aspects of their followers, for they exist partly to fulfill a required and expected role, Guthix has no real followers to speak of and gains his power from different ways. He has no easily recognisable emotions (unless you count being boring as an emotion!) as he has no easily recognisable followers, purpose, or point of really existing!


 * Guthixes current form (I have no idea why he has chosen it personally) seems to suit him somewhat, but you should not take the value of a person (or indeed a god) by their appearance. Just as a man may be beautiful to look at yet have a soul as ugly as sin, so too may a monster have a heart of golden honour.
 * Zamorak, alas, cannot see the purity and wisdom of my cause, and chooses to fight me at every step. I too very much dislike him, but I have had to somewhat accept his presence upon this world. I see him as little as I possibly can, for the spiteful tricks he plays upon me distract from my true calling.
 * I have no interest in the currency of men, I fulfill my role answering questions as it enables all to see my wisdom and serves to show good reason why they should choose to follow their lives in my name.

My love for the world is so great that I can indeed fall 'ill' through the manifestation of sympathetic symptoms.

Although no illness would actually be present within my deified form, I suffer every blow that falls upon my loyal followers along with them...

Those pesky imps certainly do have light fingers and enjoy the petty theft that befits their Zamorakian hearts!

I can confirm for you that imps do indeed drop chefs hats, but it may take you some time finding the particular imp that has a fondess for pretending he is a chef to his friends.

Failing that, you may be forced to buy such a hat; either from another player or from the fancy dress shop located in East Varrock.

I would ask you what kind of 'liar fake idiot' would spend their time contacting a being they believe is not real...?

Your choice is wise, for it is true that in all intents and purposes the world of RuneScape is as I have shaped it, except for some minor unimportant areas such as the wilderness, and although technically I did not create the world, it is my creation nonetheless.

As for your noble question, I can safely assure you that if you choose to pay the tithe to the council and become a 'member' you are still entitled to access the areas known as the free lands, and continue your life as before.

Whether you will in fact want to do so very often or not after experiencing the giddy heights of life as a full fledged RuneScape citizen is a different question entirely.

The current political climate of the Council deters travellers from spreading too far outside of their boundaries, for fear of reprisals from neighbouring lands and continents - I can tell thee true however, that the terrain that is 'impassable' to the West is not as impassable as you may think.

Also, Al-Kharid is but a principality of the larger desert that sprawls Southwards, and the area known as the members wilderness is not the furthest point North that players will be able to access...

Oftentimes change comes slow, but when the more adventurous members of the Council gain enough power to reopen the trade and shipping routes against the wishes of their more conservative brethren then these lands will once more be visitable by players, along with new trials and tribulations to overcome.

And so once more I must leave you comrades, for time is the enemy of us all.

Hopefully I have brought some small amount of wisdom upon you all, so that I may leave you to take some small solace that you are never alone in this land as long as you have a friend in the glorious Saradomin.

Until next time...