Transcript:The All-powerful Jellyfish

Issue 4 - The All-powerful Jellyfish
'''Five Ages after creating the world of Runescape, the great god Saradomin has finally resumed communication with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet. An agreement with his brothers prohibits him from directly intervening into Runescape's affairs, but in his great omniscience he still listens to the prayers of those who seek his knowledge.'''

Oh, how so many of you young mages have begged for a Magic Guild. I was tempted to let you just conjure one up yourself, but then I thought better of it. So those adventurers who toil on a daily basis will know that a Magic Guild now exists in the town of Yanille. There you can buy a kind of rune that so-called "pures" could only dream about.

Ah, an historian, I see. Well, I almost don't know where to begin - which is what I said at the time, in fact. Of course, it all started with Lumbridge, and the good kingdom of Misthalin. But there was no Al Kharid or Draynor Village, and Edgeville was pretty deserted, so people called it Ghost Town.

The world back then was a comparatively good place. People didn't tend to wander around Lumbridge calling each other "noob", because everybody was one. Black knights were the toughest monsters, of which there were three. The top equipment you could get was adamantite legs, mithril body, adamantite large helmet, adamantite long sword, and iron kite shield. There were no amulets. Adventurers could, however, sink their teeth into six different quests: the Cook's Assistant, the Restless Ghost, Demon Slayer, Shield of Arrav, Romeo and Juliet and Sheep Shearer.

The main skills were Combat, Ranged, Mining and Smithing. Cooking consisted only of cooking meat and bread making. Of course, families have always been divided over the issue of vegetables, and this was literally the case then, with many a warrior dropping dead from scurvy.

Mourning partners were in time told that there were plenty more fish in the sea, but this was of little consolation, as no one knew how to fish yet. There was also no Crafting, and Lumbridge's traditional Sunday afternoon craft fairs were a bit of a let down as a result.

Music as an attack? It really would have to be offensively bad. But as for music in the game, that certainly will be coming. For some time now, a great man-minstrel by the name of Ian has been mincing away, to create great scores of majestic sounds that will one day delight your ears.

Behold, such robes exist for all to see! Take yourself to the monastery and speak to the good Abbott Langley who works there. If you are of sufficient Prayer level he will endow you with this most stylish of artefacts. Just don't let him talk you into a haircut.

And for those of you who have asked about a "Prayer Guild", know that you can also pray at their special altar, and have your holy symbols blessed.

Guild indeed! What are you - god's representative on earth, or some lowly carpenter?

Why? What are you planning to do in there? Nothing untoward, I hope. Yes, houses will be added to Runescape eventually, but don't start choosing the curtains just yet.

Frustrated, he seems. I can't wait until he attempts the Biohazard Quest.

Yes, the Paul that you speak of is a strange one indeed, who has been known to float around Runescape like some sort of all-powerful jellyfish, squeezing out offerings at certain special times of year. Some of you have even wondered if there might be another deployment of goodies in the near future. I couldn't possibly comment on this, of course...

Until next time, my friends.