Transcript:Me! Oh, and a few others.

''A complex clutter of letters this month, kicking of with my favorite subject...me! If you’re lucky, you might even see me in the game visiting a few of my favorite spots. Feel free to say hello and please, don’t be scared! I’ll explain how it happened one day. I’ve also been talking to river trolls, beards, and we even ask Boot to explain the legend of the black hole. Then, to finish it off, we managed to ask the mime to err, mime a few responses for us. Have fun!''

'''Well, imagine my joy when I read this one! I’m glad my work is appreciated, it certainly can be a challenge when asked to chat to Rantz (shudder) or the bandits up in the Wilderness. Generally, I am pretty safe during my travels thanks to Wizards' Guild and their clay teleportation tablets. Not being much of a mage I always had problems getting about, especially when new lands are discovered nearly every week, but these tablets sorted it right out! If you look carefully you might see me popping about, I often hang around with my friend Reldo, visiting any of my brothers or chatting to the Oracle up in the mountains. Hope to see you there!'''

Woooooo! Wooo woo! Wooo woo! Woo? Woo woo woo...

*Puts on amulet of ghostspeak*

...and they won’t relinquish the power they now have. Several of the locals have been taken into slavery, which is why we have been so reluctant to return. The land itself is a place of wonder and mystery, lush with flowers which could not grow in hostile places such as this. It’s such a pity there is so much bloodshed there now, I...I... (at that point, the ghost broke down into ghostly tears. I felt it best to leave).

Dear mystery writer,

Karmic burden? What are you talking about? If I can avoid prison by going round and handing out a couple of spinach rolls (lots of people think they are really rare for some silly reason), then I will. Karmic burden, indeed! What’s wrong with spinach anyway? You won’t eat that, but you will eat roasted swamp snails and that gnome rubbish! Very, very odd, I tell you.

Dear Arcaus,

Thordur used to have a theme ride really close to my little shoe, er, sorry, cave. I used to live in a shoe, you see, it's easy to get confused...but anyway, he was forced to close it down. You see, it was a magical journey to some really dark, really empty shoes. I mean caves. People wanted to see the “black hole”, a place where all the naughty dwarves were sent when they had been bad. My mother used to tell me that I would be sent there if I didn’t clean my shoe in the morning. I used to live in a shoe, you see, that’s why I am called Boot. Anyway, Thordur ran into problems with the board for Dwarven tourism who had issues with some humans who didn’t like shoes. No, hang on, that’s not it...no, wait a mo... They had become stuck out in the blackness. The black guard had tried to shoe them, er, I mean shoo them out, but they, like all humans, wouldn’t stop complaining. So he had to close the place down. Anyway, the secure cells they send bad folks too are far more organised now, so the tale of Thordur's black hole is more of a legend these days. Now, where’s my old woman gone?

Dear Sir axe a lot,

Dem fishes be mostly in de river. Den big trollnado come. Me and dem missus in dem whirlpool, get into dem sea. Me’s get in dem big trollble. Me hear dem trolley get us back to Trollheim. Me’s try eatin dat clownfish, but it taste funny to me. If you’s helping dem trolls get home, me gives big trollipop! Maybe.

Dear manforlove2

Yes, we do.

Lots of love

Dave the beard.

Mail to The Mime

 * Finally this month, we have a short interview with the Mime artist. Several letters have been sent in posing various questions, the best of which I asked him about. Here's what he had to say mime: