Transcript:All Hallow's Eve

Issue 6 - All Hallow's Eve
'''Five Ages after creating the world of Runescape, the great god Saradomin has finally resumed communication with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet. An agreement with his brothers prohibits him from directly intervening into Runescape's affairs, but in his great omniscience he still listens to the prayers of those who seek his knowledge.'''

It gladdens my heart to see that it hath brought you so much pleasure. And to think that some people have said that these masks should have been deposited straight into their bank accounts. Now where's the fun in that, I ask you?

Ah yes, Europe and North America. Some say that these are different worlds, and its true that I do sometimes have trouble locating them on the Runescape map. But Saradomin's mercy crosses all boundaries, and verily these masks were dropped across a span of fifteen of your hours - such was the dedication of our distributor.

Swearing on their mother's grave and then attacking you? I wonder how meticulous you are about your choice of friends. But you're right in saying that the Wilderness is essentially a Zamorakian affair. It seems that even the most good-natured of players gets the urge to decapitate his fellow man occasionally. And so the Wilderness enables them to do this. Of course, swearing is still not allowed in the Wilderness, and if someone is verbally offensive to you, please use the 'Report Abuse' button.

More than one kebab at a time? That would be just decadent. Runescape is supposed to be a land of finely-tuned warrior poets, not grease encrusted slobs! Besides, the kebab seller has to prepare them individually, so that you can always be sure of its freshness. Especially since goblin meat doesn't tend to keep too long.

Ah yes, Zamorak, god of bowel movements. I'm sure he would be flattered. But I'm glad you share my concerns about obesity. This is why there is so much walking in Runescape - to keep players in the peak of fitness. So I don't think that out-houses are such a pressing concern, although I have noticed that the lake by Taverley has started to look a bit muddy recently.

You should not feel ashamed, Mr. Lamer. Well, maybe just a little bit. But your name is your identity and your birthright, so wear it with pride. The important thing is what your name represents. Are you an untrustworthy scammer, or a vigorous pursuer of truth? The former will be shunned by his peers, while the latter is embraced. And so the permanence of names is of great significance. Whatever your name is, you must make a name for yourself!

Fear not, my good friend, your facilities will indeed be sufficient for the upgraded version.

Behold, such a god exists - my brother Guthix. He doesn't really do much; that's neutrality for you, I suppose. But the druids seem to like him.

Hmm... I don't remember telling your friend that, actually. But I wouldn't want to suggest that your friend has been hearing voices. So let's just call it an act of faith.

And that was the idea. But I think that its more of a case of redressing the balance, not giving an unfair advantage. Indeed, some mages are saying that we haven't gone far enough. Perhaps omnipotence does not extend to pleasing everyone.

Null is a mystical guardian who protects you when you first enter new areas. He is a passive and benevolent force, and as such his combat level never rises above 1. He appears and disappears in order to attend to the needs of all those who may require his protection.

Until next time, my friends,